Settling in

Here we are on Weatherstone place. Woodstock, GA is our new home. Settling in hasn't been easy. Of course Mark has been starting a new job, and that is always overwhelming. Here at the house, most of the boxes have been unpacked and collapsed. We had to fight to get our little Nora accustomed to a toddler bed and her new room. The first night was a nightmare. She screamed when we closed the door, then later in the middle of the night, we heard her crying again, then a huge thud and a scream. I woke up from a very tired sleep to a bad stomach ache from panic and soothed her till she was quiet, only to hear Audrey screaming! I now have been feeding Audrey in the middle of the night every few nights. Oh, and night #2, Nora woke AGAIN in the middle of the night, and she would not let me leave her. I ended up camping on her floor till daylight. Man did I feel old when I woke up with bruised hips. The sleep thing has improved for Nora...well until she recently got Hand Foot and Mouth Virus AGAIN!!! She has been feeling terrible. Her mouth is all blistered and eating and even yawning hurts and makes her cry. She has hardly eaten or drank for the last few days. The only part I secretly enjoy is how cuddly she now gets on the couch when I put on a movie. Poor baby. Now her high fever is essentially gone and her little sister is getting really fussy and hard to feed or put to sleep at night. I PRAY that she doesn't have it too now.
Since we have been here, Nora has turned 2, and has begun speaking in sentences quite regularly. Audrey has turned 6 months, sits up very well on her own, is contemplating crawling (but has more interest in log-rolling), popped her first two teeth, and started solids. The girls now play together, eat together and bathe together. It's all pretty fun to watch. My favorite part is when they sleep together--er--uh--at the same time anyway. That's when mommy-time happens...or house cleaning anyway. Any kid-free time is pretty therapeutic for me these days.
It's funny, Nora has a few new fascinations she has discovered here in GA that she never knew in Arizona. Mailboxes. The kid LOVES mailboxes. Wants them all to be hers. We cross train tracks in old-town Woodstock, and she LOVES them too. "Thomas goes!" she shouts every time we cross them. She loves passing horses, and she liked that back in AZ too, but here she gets to go see them up close because I have connections with three different stables here. Every night when I tuck her in she tells me she wants to "see horsies" tomorrow. And sometimes we do. Rain is one of her favorite things here. She will hear thunder...or just see a nice little cloud and say "Rain coming! Rain coming!" It keeps our spirits up on overcast days. She is pretty happy here. I'm trying to learn from her and take note of the simple pleasures better. Oh, and she loves "Packick!" Patrick Flowers is 9 weeks younger than her. Their relationship has been long distance until now. Those two are hilarious together. Patrick's little sister, Madelyn is 11 weeks younger than Audrey as well, and those two are as chummy as babies can be...which is a very limited amount of chumminess...but it is still cute to see them together. They'll be great buds someday! Of course Toby and Angie, their parents are wonderful old friends of ours and we are SUPER excited to be near them again! Things are very good here. Tired and somewhat stressful right now, but good. We love our home, and our neighborhood, and the people and weather here, and we are indeed blessed.

We are moving!

Dear Arizona,
Let me start by saying, "you're not so bad!" I can see that now that I am no longer committed to you.
You and I got off on the wrong foot from the start. Before we were an item, I would visit you with Mark and you didn't see like such a bad guy. Pretty hot, but it was more intriguing to me than anything. In hindsight, it was just puppy love. But we moved to be with you. Right away after we moved here, I had a hard time finding work. Then I found myself unexpectedly pregnant...a couple of times! I wanted to blame someone, so I blamed you. When I felt nauseous or too large to function, you overheated me. And you should know, your abusive relationship with the sun...yeah she really changes your attitude. I feel like you could really limit her influence on your weather. Many times I found myself wanting to come outside and visit you, but SHE was always there glaring at me. But all that is water under the bridge. Oh, and speaking of water...yeah you put on a very tough face and can seem very strong, but I think it would do you some good to have a good cry from time to time. I found you very dry a lot of the time. Some rain could benefit you by showing your tender side.
I will miss your beautiful mountains that seem to be wrapped around me everywhere I go. You are handsome, there is no doubt. But the fact that I could only hike on them 4 months out of the year when I wouldn't get heat exhaustion, that was annoying.
So I know there will be times when I will see a potted cactus or a very sunny day and think of you fondly, but I'm going to start fresh with another state. Don't be jealous. You don't have enough water for me and my ever-expanding family anyway. So I am breaking up with you. And really, it's not you, it's me. If you need me, I'll be in the humidity on the other side of the country, beneath the shade of the tall pines. Oh, and take care of my friends. If I hear that you are mistreating them, I'll...well...I...hmmm...just don't do it, ok?

Sincerely,
Megan

Yep, we are on our way to Georgia. Packing up and flying out on the 8th of May. Yes, it it VERY soon. Especially because we have to pack up our entire house by then while a toddler is trampling all over it and undoing pretty much everything we do. I'm confident we will get it done though.

On a more solemn note, we have to leave behind Mark's parents, and our daughters' new and dearly loved grandparents. They have been wonderful grandparents and very helpful to us. We hope to visit them and receive visits from them often. Our 5 minute drive to their house was very nice and we will miss it a lot. Mark's brother and his beautiful new wife are here as well. We will miss Daniel and Jenny, and the girls will too. Our friends we have made during our three year stay here have been top-notch. My new momma friends have been the reason for any sanity I have left after my struggles with adjusting to motherhood. Our little Audrey's God-parents, Daniel Duran and Andrea Torzala have turned out to be great friends and have made us feel involved in our church community. St Tims will be missed as well. It is a very special place. We have met wonderful neighbors and have been very blessed to stay in such a nice community with great parks and playgrounds nearby.

Still, we are thrilled to take the best opportunity offered to us. Georgia will get me a degree, Mark a better income, and hopefully a bit more help with babysitting from friends and family. When I get a chance I am going to post a ton of pictures from our great and special years here. But for now...just one parting shot...

Though I walk through the valley...

I complain that the summer heat is coming, weather that is probably not so different from that which Jesus saw in Jerusalem.

I whine that I have to turn on my air conditioning in April. He had to silently carry a cross out in the blinding sun.

I wonder how long I have to wait until an opportunity opens up back in GA...three years? Probably not as hard as descending to hell and battling Satan for three days.

I think I have a hard time breathing when I am alone and being screamed at by two babies in the evenings. It was all Christ could do to painfully struggle to catch his breath as he hung, bleeding from the cross as he was laughed at.


I think it's time I see that I am not alone in this and whatever challenge is laid before me and my family, as long as we use it to see our blessings, God will be glorified in our decisions and we will be more than Okay.

We are in limbo about what job Mark will have one month from now. Maybe a training job here in Arizona, maybe a sales job in Georgia...maybe the same darn evening call center job he's been so bored with for the last 3 years here. But our God is faithful, and that means we will all be in good health, with a roof over our heads and food on the table.

I don't want to be spiteful anymore. Spite is what makes us miserable. If we are going to stay here, I will allow myself no excuses...We will start anew. Maybe we won't have any more money than we do now, but I have to stop waiting for change. Waiting has been the name of the game for threeand a half years now. Waiting to get our own place, to not be pregnant anymore, for summer to be over, to not be nursing anymore, to not be pregnant anymore, to move to Georgia...and the list could go on the rest of my life. Truth is I am starting to see that my soul has a real sense of unrest. I have a longing spirit, and I'm catching on to the fact that it doesn't go away when good things happen. My longing is because this whole life is temporary. Not just my stay here in Arizona, although I still hope it is...But there's a whole other life we are waiting to begin and that is the cause for the restlessness in our souls.

So we aren't doing this alone. This Holy Week is teaching me that. As I reflect on the passion, death and resurrection of our Lord, I see not only that Christ walked the steepest steps of human suffering first and my own are a walk in the park in comparison. His life culmination as he defeated hell is the reason I don't need to focus on which job Mark gets. I need to be the best wife and mother I can right now because my real destination, my real reason for my soul's unrest is my ultimate destination in the arms Christ, and the promise that I am safe forever with him who won that Easter battle for me.

I don't want my girls to see that I live life this way. I want them to learn to be women who are strong in Christ and confident in his promises. I want to teach them to make life decisions based on trust in HIM and based on love for themselves and for those God has placed in their lives. I want them to look at every situation with gratitude first and discernment second.

My beautiful girls are already helping me find my way home. Happy Easter!

And of course some pictures to help lighten the mood =-)

40 days in the desert

It's lent now, the 40 day long Catholic season in which we prepare ourselves for Easter. We make sacrifices, repent for our sins, and reflect on Christ's 40 days of fasting and temptation in the desert.

I can honestly say that our family is very involved in this Lenten season. Not only are we in an actual desert, we are stuck in a very challenging time, waiting for change and testing our strength. Mark is working hard on applying for jobs all over to move on with his career, and I am stuck here in my house with the girls and most of the time no car. We are both so tired and impatient, wondering what may be the next step for our little family of four. Will it be in GA? Will it be here in Phoenix? Will we be able to feed our whole family? The future is scary, but it is even scarier to think of being stuck in this unsettled period of question. We simply have to move on soon. We just have to.

The kids are definitely keeping us distracted a good deal. We decided that if there were a video of our life with the girls, it would, without question, be a comedy. You would be laughing the whole time. Nora is a barrel of laughs. On our way to take Mark to work one day we were stopped at a red light. It was quiet, a sleepy morning (uhh or well 12:30pm), when she snapped us out of it, yelling, "GOOOO!!!" We cracked up, so now every time we sit at a red light, she does that. She also tortures our cats. She giggles and squeals as she chases them around the house. That's pretty funny to watch too. Every time we go to Costco, which is like twice a week or something ridiculous like that, she yells "CA-CO!" as we pull into the parking lot. She calls stop signs "Stopssss.....Ign", and the list goes on.

Nora had a tooth extracted a few weeks ago, full anesthesia and all, the same weekend Mark finished his degree. Crazy times for us. Poor Nora was traumatized. Now her separation anxiety has reached an all time high. She has nightmares frequently now, usually during her naps. May be the trauma, may just be her age. Audrey is sleeping great though. She just went two nights in a row without waking or feeding. She turned 4 months today! To celebrate, we are taking her to get 2 shots tomorrow...exciting.

I'm sorry, I just ran out of energy and this happens to be the most boring post ever. I'll try to come back with something really good in the next week. Let me leave you with a parting shot...
have a nice day...

The February update!

This blog is terribly overdue...much like our second born daughter was! Yep, Audrey Ruth was born November 25th, and that's beyond fashionably late for her due date on the 12th! The evening before Thanksgiving, our little butterball arrived. Well, not little, more like gigantic. Audrey lay there screaming on the scale and a dozen nurses stood around her...busy saving her life? no. She was healthy. They were all placing bets on her weight. She was a whopping 10 lbs, 2 oz! I don't know whether I should be proud of my work or humiliated. Either way, we are overjoyed to have our sweet little angel in our arms now.

It was exciting to bring her home and introduce the sisters and rather funny to watch it actually happen. Nora got this deer-in-the-headlights look and just kept pointing at her and saying "baby...baby...baby...baby...". After all the talking we did with her beforehand, she was very caught off guard to say the least. Its been a bumpy road as they have tried to get used to each other. As the stay-at-home mom of the family, it has been very challenging for me. That's not to say it isn't extremely rewarding and tons of fun as well. Of course I am home alone with the girls every weeknight for the fussy hour, cooking and serving dinner, giving baths, trying to read bedtime stories and get both kiddos down for bed. That's not easy. Between about 5:30 and 8:30PM, most nights I lose my mind. Audrey often wakes up from her nap screaming and inconsolable, which upsets Nora and makes her whine. All the while I am trying to finish cooking and get Nora to eat. And try bathing a toddler, dressing her and reading to her with a screaming 2 month old attached to your chest in a baby carrier! Unfortunately bedtime is not all that relaxing for Nora...but she is a trooper. I think she's relieved to have some peace and quiet in the dark with her music. I should be so lucky! I love my girls and my heart breaks for them, but I'll be glad when Mark finally has evenings off, one way or another.

After 2 long years of online classes, I can't believe it, Mark is graduating next weekend! It has been so hard on our family to have his home time in the mornings be monopolized by school work on the computer. Full time school and full time work has taken its toll on Mark. He's amazing! He still finds time to be a supporting husband and loving father. What a journey this has been these last three years! Starting with the move to AZ from GA, we had our 1 yr anniversary, and the next week became pregnant with our first child, we both got into new jobs, bought our first home together, I left my job, had Nora, then 9 months later we found out we were expecting AGAIN! The economy went down the toilet, Mark's sales job suffered, we had our second beautiful girl, and Mark is now graduating all in less than three years. We are both different people than we were when we moved out here, after all we have been through and seen. And we are so blessed.

So now Nora is sick. Last tuesday (one week ago) I took her to the doc for lethargy, a low fever and fever blisters. He found that she had sores all in her mouth, hands, knees and backside, and diagnosed her with Hand, Foot and mouth disease. (Not to be confused with hoof and mouth--very different thing there) So as he looked in her mouth, he found something else, an abscess above one of her front top teeth. Apparently she got it when she fell and bumped her tooth. We went to the dentist yesterday and he confirmed it then referred us to an ORAL SURGEON! She has to have the tooth pulled to save the adult tooth coming behind it. My poor baby is gonna have a missing front tooth until about 6 yrs old! So next friday she'll have the surgery...that's right, surgery. She has to be put under general anesthesia and everything. I am going to cry like a baby. She's going to be so scared, and they say they usually wake up crying. I am about to cry now, typing this! I'm such a baby. My little Nora will be beautiful no matter what happens. I love my girls so much. They are the most wonderfully beautiful things in the world to me.

I'm putting some pics of our Valentines day toddler party up. We had five toddlers and two babies. It was fun to see all the babies now that they are almost two.

6 days...5 days...4...

Baby number two, come on!!!!! Although she is not due for another six days, there are oh, so many good reasons why Audrey should come out right now and not a moment later. Mark really wants to get out of work and start his leave since there is no reason to work hard to hit goal as he has no chance to hit goal this month. I am nervous about having a gigantic baby. I mean Nora was big enough at 9lbs 4 oz, but second babies are often bigger, and I just don't know how much baby I can push out...without getting too graphic. Also, my labor last time was NOT what I had in mind as I wanted to go all natural. I went past my due date by 6 days and was told I had to be induced because of a low level of amniotic fluid. I am really afraid of that happening again. If I have to be given pitocin again, I am just going straight for the epidural. I feel that with the evil intensity of pitocin contractions, it is absolutely necessary. I'm not gonna try and do that again. No point. After 8 hours of Hell last time I needed the epidural anyway to get my body to relax enough to progress, so just forget it. Also, my mom has come out to give a hand. She got here from Atlanta yesterday morning, and while she is extremely useful with Nora, I don't want her to wait too long to help with the new one. I want to maximize her usefulness you know. And then of course we are all excited to meet the little bugger.

I really think Nora has a pretty good idea of the extremity of the change about to take place. I had thought she would be clueless, but she is very much out of whack right now. She is getting over a little bug that gave her a fever for a few days, but she has become so whiney and clingy with me, I really think she knows something big is happening. I guess even an 18 month old can see that I can only grow so much bigger before I explode! I mean it's just logic!

Well, last night I noticed my first regular contractions. It was probably a good couple of hours of them being 7 minutes apart. So that was just thrilling...except that they didn't even hurt. It's probably all for the best because the last few days I was having an intensely sore throat, and yesterday, in particular, I did not feel up to going into labor. That would have been awful. But today, I'm feeling quite a bit better so COME ON LABOR! How did I ever get to be so impatient? It's pathetic. I should be content if I have a healthy little girl and that's all. Don't get me wrong--I do want that. I just want other stuff too = )

Well maybe this will be the weekend. Right now, I'm off to go drink some raspberry leaf tea and do some labor-inducing yoga! Wish me (us) luck!

OK, ok, ok I know...a month between blogs is bad blog etiquette. So sue me. I find myself having a hard time finding the energy to take a nap many of these days...blogging is not the first thing on my list. Cleaning my house, taking care of my off-the-walls one year old, or ya know feeding my family often end up coming first these days. I had really forgotten how tired the last trimester can make you. I seriously take a 2-3 hour nap most days and Nora wakes me up at the end of it. Yeah, I sleep about as much as a one year old baby. She's almost 17 months now, and HOLY COW has the separation anxiety phase gotten bad...It's all about mama these days. I have started to go to a mothers' meeting at my neighbor's church twice a month where they watch your kid for you, and last time I could hear her for a full hour screaming MAMA! MAMA! down the hall. NOT relaxing. Made me want to tear my fingernails off and eat them. eww. What did I just say?

We are all gearing up now for the newest Mayer to come along within the next 5 weeks (hopefully). We have had our shower, which was quite beautiful. Thanks to everyone who came and helped. I am having contractions ALL THE TIME now, and many of them are beginning to hurt. We will have an ultrasound next friday which will tell us if she's hangin out in there the wrong way or if she's another baby elephant like her older sister. Judging by my lack of self control lately when it comes to carbs and sugar, I'm gonna say she's probably HUGE. Those are the two things my OB said to limit to help keep her a bit smaller...yeah, it's pretty much all I want. mmm, cinnamon chip muffins......I'm digging my own grave. Yet I am still feeling very hopeful about this birth. I am planning, yet again, to try and do it as naturally as possible. And If I have a medical need to be induced like last time, I'm taking the epidural hand in hand with the pitocin. That stuff is EVIL. EVIL, I TELL YOU. I want to know what it's like to go into labor on my own. Apparently the contractions aren't anything like the mind-numbing pitocin contractions. So I'm gonna give it a shot. And maybe, since Nora is working me so hard, I'll go into labor early...and not have a 10 pound baby! Nora was 9lbs 4oz. I had to push for a LONG time with her. I'm hoping for a quicker pushing experience this time. Anything 9lbs or less sounds like a breeze.

Speaking of breeze, life is really looking up around here as the AZ fall weather has set in. It's about 2pm here and I have doors and windows open! I LOVE that. Nora and I can go for a walk to the park pretty much any time of day aside from like 3-430pm just because the sun is so hot. And let me tell you, she is a much happier kiddo this time of year. She was driving me crazy asking to go outside just before October hit. Now the highs are in the 80s and the dry air really feels cool all the time. It's a whole different world now. Good time to have a baby, I'd say. Just a couple weeks ago, Mark and I drove up to Payson and did a bit of hiking up there. That was gorgeous. A great way to kick off fall. I know the highs will probably fly up into the 100s again sometime soon for the last time, and I'll want to kill people again, but for now, I'm content. I can almost imagine the leaves changing color when I close my eyes (when they're open, the cactus-covered desert landscape throws me off). Man do I miss the southeast. Oh well. Maybe we'll be back to the land of FOUR seasons someday soon. Until then, I'm gonna try and enjoy the loveliness here and work this little rib-boxing-champ out of me. Nora's up and making some bizarre sounds in there...I'll try to add some shower, preggo, and payson pics...